Well, another month going by, and still waiting. I never thought it would be so hard to have a second child. We really didn't have much difficulty conceiving our son five years ago, but apparently, God has another plan this time.
I have recently joined an online support group for people dealing with infertility. I haven't done much yet besides read what others have posted, but I can say that it is nice to see others dealing with this. Not that I want others to be suffering with me. It's just nice to know that I am not alone. There are so many women who are dealing with the same issues as I have been. The group has been a God send, reminding me that it is okay to be angry. It's normal to feel jealousy. The real test is what we do with those emotions.
If anyone actually reads this blog, please keep me in your prayers. This month has been particularly difficuly emotionally, and I can use all of the prayer I can get.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
God's Waiting Room
I have never claimed that I was patient. In fact, if you have ever asked, you know that I am the first to admit that I HATE waiting. I'm just not very good at it. Still...God is trying to teach me something, telling me to just..."wait."
For some time now, 3 years to be exact, my husband and I have been trying to have another child. There doesn't seem to be any clear cut answers to why we haven't conceived yet. We have been to the doctor, taken tests, started medications...all of the proper steps to correct any problems. Still...no baby.
As you can imagine, this has been quite difficult at times. At first, it wasn't so bad. I was blessed to see a friend of mine conceive after a few years of trying. I was so happy for her, even to the point of thinking, "Okay God. If it took me not having another child right now so that she could, then so be it. Thank you for the blessing." Another year passed, and still no baby. An even now...I am seeing so many others being blessed with children. I am honestly happy for them, but I have to admit, it hurts too. You see, it was significantly easier to conceive with my son. In fact, I took the pregnancy test on a whim, and was delighted to see the two blue lines. For the past 3 years, though, the thoughts keep entering my head, asking, "Why was is so easy the first time?" and "Why is it so difficult now?"
I have really been leaning on friends and family with this burden, and have been making a conscious effort to rely on God. I have been encouraged by the story of Hannah, knowing how long she waited, yet continued to trust God. She was blessed with a child. So, surely I will be too. Still, another year passed, and here I am now...no baby.
This Sunday, I hit a wall. We had a guest speaker at church, Dr. Larry Fine. I wasn't sure what to expect, really. This is the 4th or 5th speaker we have has, as our pastor is on sabbatical. I guess I wasn't really expecting much, but I was smacked with truth. Dr. Fine started out the service talking about how we sometimes end up in God's waiting room. Yeah, yeah... I have heard this before, right? Not quite like this.
Dr. Fine spoke of how too often, the Church teaches us to pray and ask for direction, and then things will be fine. In fact, he apologized for this, citing that it's just not always that simple. God puts us in times of waiting to teach us lessons, and to protect us. Specifically, he cited scripture in Exodus 13:17 which reads, " When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land." Through Dr. Fine's words, it became clear to me that I AM in a period of waiting. I have been sitting here in God's waiting room for the past 3 years, and God is trying to teach me something. The shortest route isn't always the best. Quick fixes often backfire, or cause more pain later. God will lead us out and around the things that would scare us, even if it means we have to take a longer path. I don't fully understand it right now, but I do intend to use this period to its fullest potential. I have come to the point where it is no linger about ME and MY desire. I have come to the point of just letting go, and saying, "God, take me where you need to take me. Show me what you need to show me. I am yours."
I know that this isn't going to make the journey any easier, in fact it could be just as difficult, or even more so. But I have to trust Him. I have to hold on to His promises. I am eager to get out of this waiting room, but I do see the importance of being here. I pray that my eyes, and my heart will be open enough to recognize what God has for me. I pray that I make the most of the opportunities given to me, and that I will continue to let God use my hurt.
For some time now, 3 years to be exact, my husband and I have been trying to have another child. There doesn't seem to be any clear cut answers to why we haven't conceived yet. We have been to the doctor, taken tests, started medications...all of the proper steps to correct any problems. Still...no baby.
As you can imagine, this has been quite difficult at times. At first, it wasn't so bad. I was blessed to see a friend of mine conceive after a few years of trying. I was so happy for her, even to the point of thinking, "Okay God. If it took me not having another child right now so that she could, then so be it. Thank you for the blessing." Another year passed, and still no baby. An even now...I am seeing so many others being blessed with children. I am honestly happy for them, but I have to admit, it hurts too. You see, it was significantly easier to conceive with my son. In fact, I took the pregnancy test on a whim, and was delighted to see the two blue lines. For the past 3 years, though, the thoughts keep entering my head, asking, "Why was is so easy the first time?" and "Why is it so difficult now?"
I have really been leaning on friends and family with this burden, and have been making a conscious effort to rely on God. I have been encouraged by the story of Hannah, knowing how long she waited, yet continued to trust God. She was blessed with a child. So, surely I will be too. Still, another year passed, and here I am now...no baby.
This Sunday, I hit a wall. We had a guest speaker at church, Dr. Larry Fine. I wasn't sure what to expect, really. This is the 4th or 5th speaker we have has, as our pastor is on sabbatical. I guess I wasn't really expecting much, but I was smacked with truth. Dr. Fine started out the service talking about how we sometimes end up in God's waiting room. Yeah, yeah... I have heard this before, right? Not quite like this.
Dr. Fine spoke of how too often, the Church teaches us to pray and ask for direction, and then things will be fine. In fact, he apologized for this, citing that it's just not always that simple. God puts us in times of waiting to teach us lessons, and to protect us. Specifically, he cited scripture in Exodus 13:17 which reads, " When Pharaoh finally let the people go, God did not lead them along the main road that runs through Philistine territory, even though that was the shortest route to the Promised Land." Through Dr. Fine's words, it became clear to me that I AM in a period of waiting. I have been sitting here in God's waiting room for the past 3 years, and God is trying to teach me something. The shortest route isn't always the best. Quick fixes often backfire, or cause more pain later. God will lead us out and around the things that would scare us, even if it means we have to take a longer path. I don't fully understand it right now, but I do intend to use this period to its fullest potential. I have come to the point where it is no linger about ME and MY desire. I have come to the point of just letting go, and saying, "God, take me where you need to take me. Show me what you need to show me. I am yours."
I know that this isn't going to make the journey any easier, in fact it could be just as difficult, or even more so. But I have to trust Him. I have to hold on to His promises. I am eager to get out of this waiting room, but I do see the importance of being here. I pray that my eyes, and my heart will be open enough to recognize what God has for me. I pray that I make the most of the opportunities given to me, and that I will continue to let God use my hurt.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Let's give it another try, shall we?
Well...I have tried this blogging thing before, and it never seems to stick. I have the best of intentions. Really, I do. I rather enjoy reading the blogs of my friends and family, but I just don't seem to keep writing on mine. So here we are again...a fresh start to the world of blogging. Pray for me. Maybe this will be the time that it really becomes part of my life. :o)
A lot of things have happened since I last wrote. Back then, I was just returning to work. Well...a year and a half later (give or take) and I am still there. I like the job, really, but there are times that I think to myself, "Why did you want to go back to work?" I think what I miss the most is the freedom that I had. I could go anywhere, anytime during the day until I went back to work. Now, I have to get everything finished before 1pm. Still not that bad, but i do miss having the whole day.
Let's see...otherwise, life is about the same. We are STILL trying to add to our family. So far, it just hasn't happened. I guess God's timing and my timing haven't quite matched up yet. I try to stay positive about it, because I truly believe that we will have more kids. I know in my heart, that we will have a larger family. I just haven't quite figured out what God is trying to teach me yet (besides faith and patience). It's a rough road, but I am willing to travel it. Especially if it means that I can learn more about myself and, most importantly, more about God.
My son starts kindergarten this fall. :o( Wow! How time flies. I used to laugh at people who made such a big deal of how quickly kids grow up. As a mom, though, I totally understand. It's hard to believe that five and a half years have passed by. I look at Kris and am amazed! He is such a blessing! Such a wonder! We thank God for him everyday, and wonder what we ever laughed about before we had Kris. He is a smart, loving kid. The things he says crack up up, and sometimes chock the begeebies out of us. I love just drinking him in! His energy. His smile. His innocence. how God made such an a amazing kid from us, is beyond my comprehension.
I think that about does it for now. You have been adequately updated on the happenings of my life. Thanks for being part of this crazy, mixed-up life. Hopefully, you'll see more updates on here soon!
A lot of things have happened since I last wrote. Back then, I was just returning to work. Well...a year and a half later (give or take) and I am still there. I like the job, really, but there are times that I think to myself, "Why did you want to go back to work?" I think what I miss the most is the freedom that I had. I could go anywhere, anytime during the day until I went back to work. Now, I have to get everything finished before 1pm. Still not that bad, but i do miss having the whole day.
Let's see...otherwise, life is about the same. We are STILL trying to add to our family. So far, it just hasn't happened. I guess God's timing and my timing haven't quite matched up yet. I try to stay positive about it, because I truly believe that we will have more kids. I know in my heart, that we will have a larger family. I just haven't quite figured out what God is trying to teach me yet (besides faith and patience). It's a rough road, but I am willing to travel it. Especially if it means that I can learn more about myself and, most importantly, more about God.
My son starts kindergarten this fall. :o( Wow! How time flies. I used to laugh at people who made such a big deal of how quickly kids grow up. As a mom, though, I totally understand. It's hard to believe that five and a half years have passed by. I look at Kris and am amazed! He is such a blessing! Such a wonder! We thank God for him everyday, and wonder what we ever laughed about before we had Kris. He is a smart, loving kid. The things he says crack up up, and sometimes chock the begeebies out of us. I love just drinking him in! His energy. His smile. His innocence. how God made such an a amazing kid from us, is beyond my comprehension.
I think that about does it for now. You have been adequately updated on the happenings of my life. Thanks for being part of this crazy, mixed-up life. Hopefully, you'll see more updates on here soon!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Back to Work
I have officially started working again. Granted it is a part time gig, but I am having a great time so far.
The past two years, I have been blessed. I have been able to stay home and care for my son, taking myself out of the work force. It was a great couple of years, and I hadn't planned on leaving the home. Then, it happened. I wasn't looking for a job, but one presented itself in the form of part time customer service for a local insurance agent. At first, I blew it off thinking that it just wasn't something that I was prepared for. The longer I thought about it, though, the more I was impressed that I should take a second look. It was time that I listened and responded to the prompting that I felt; the prompting that could have only come from God. How do I know that it was from God? Simple...it wasn't an easy decision, or a comfortable move. God was presenting a new challenge for me, and I chose to take it.
I have now had about a month in this new job, and I can honestly say I love it. There are still challenges that I am facing, as I am still learning al the ins and outs of insurance, but this is great. It is just what I needed. I feel that God is blessing me everyday...I am looking forward to going to work, wondering what new things I will learn; what new challenges will I face. It is exciting, and I never would have thought that insurance would be this exciting! Ha!
This has taught me a great lesson as well. I hate to admit it, but I am usually one that looks for the simple answers. This has been anything but simple, but I am being rewarded for it. God loves to stretch us. He wants us out of of comfort zone, and growing. Well, this is just that, and I am so glad that I listened and responded to the prompting I felt from Him.
The past two years, I have been blessed. I have been able to stay home and care for my son, taking myself out of the work force. It was a great couple of years, and I hadn't planned on leaving the home. Then, it happened. I wasn't looking for a job, but one presented itself in the form of part time customer service for a local insurance agent. At first, I blew it off thinking that it just wasn't something that I was prepared for. The longer I thought about it, though, the more I was impressed that I should take a second look. It was time that I listened and responded to the prompting that I felt; the prompting that could have only come from God. How do I know that it was from God? Simple...it wasn't an easy decision, or a comfortable move. God was presenting a new challenge for me, and I chose to take it.
I have now had about a month in this new job, and I can honestly say I love it. There are still challenges that I am facing, as I am still learning al the ins and outs of insurance, but this is great. It is just what I needed. I feel that God is blessing me everyday...I am looking forward to going to work, wondering what new things I will learn; what new challenges will I face. It is exciting, and I never would have thought that insurance would be this exciting! Ha!
This has taught me a great lesson as well. I hate to admit it, but I am usually one that looks for the simple answers. This has been anything but simple, but I am being rewarded for it. God loves to stretch us. He wants us out of of comfort zone, and growing. Well, this is just that, and I am so glad that I listened and responded to the prompting I felt from Him.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
It's been a while...
As you can tell, I am not very good about keeping this blog up to date. I just can't seem to make myself sit down and write. Today, however, is a day that I am making myslef do it. So...here goes...
I have always been interested in photography. I just love to see the different views of life that are out there. It seems that everyone has just a little different perspective, and photography is such a great way to show others what we see.
Most of my photos seem to center around my son. He is just such a great subject to shoot, and he loves the camera. That can be a downfall, though. There are times that I would love to just be a fly on the wall, so that I could sneak up on him and shoot him in his element. Everytime I get close, he sees me. Then, the picture, though not ruined, isn't the same. I love the end results, as I get to document his life through the photos, however, in my favorites, you can't even see most of his face. I just love catching him being a kid...laughing, wandering, wondering. They are just beautiful.
I was hoping to attach one of my favorites here, but my computer isn't cooperating. I will have to find a way to show you, but for now, I would love to see some of your favorite photos. Whether they are of animals, plants, friends and family, or buildings, show us what you love. I can't wait to see what you come up with!
I have always been interested in photography. I just love to see the different views of life that are out there. It seems that everyone has just a little different perspective, and photography is such a great way to show others what we see.
Most of my photos seem to center around my son. He is just such a great subject to shoot, and he loves the camera. That can be a downfall, though. There are times that I would love to just be a fly on the wall, so that I could sneak up on him and shoot him in his element. Everytime I get close, he sees me. Then, the picture, though not ruined, isn't the same. I love the end results, as I get to document his life through the photos, however, in my favorites, you can't even see most of his face. I just love catching him being a kid...laughing, wandering, wondering. They are just beautiful.
I was hoping to attach one of my favorites here, but my computer isn't cooperating. I will have to find a way to show you, but for now, I would love to see some of your favorite photos. Whether they are of animals, plants, friends and family, or buildings, show us what you love. I can't wait to see what you come up with!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Christmas Thoughts
As many of you have determined, I am absolutely HORRIBLE at blogging. It's not because I don't have things to say or ideas to share. It's just that I have always been horrible at writing them all down. Ask my parents. They never even had the temptation to read my diary when I was a kid. They knew better. I rarely wrote anything in it.
I have tried many times to make it a habit (the latest being blogging), but it never seems to work out. So, I hope that if anyone reads these, they will understand why there aren't many posts.
Anywho...now that my rambling is over...I just want to wish everyone out there a very, VERY Merry CHRISTmas! (Yes, I know I capitalized the C-H-R-I-S-T. It was on purpose.)
I have always loved Christmas. Not only do we get to exchange gifts to show our appreciation for each other, but we get to spend time with our loved ones, and we don't even have to make up a reason. It seems that in recent days, there has to be a "reason" to gather with family. Are we not allowed to ENJOY being with our parents? Siblings? Grandparents? Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but I really do enjoy it. I hope that I am not the only one.
One of the other reasons I LOVE Christmas is because of all the decorations. Ever since I was a kid, I have loved going out and seeing all of the lights and garland. Granted, I prefer a white Christmas, but living in middle America, you can't always get one. Still, the lights and decorations are just beautiful! I love decorating our house too, and I leave them all up until at least New Year's! :o)
Finally, I think the reason that I REALLY love Christmas is that it is such a great time to refocus our lives. We can easily get caught up into he hustle and bustle of the season, and sucked in to the trap of commercialism, but it really can be a great time to just reflect on what we are really here for...to love God. It amazes me every time I think about it...He sent His only son to save all of us. Think about it. I mean, REALLY think about it. Would you be willing to do that? I don't know that I would.
Christmas time makes it easier to see the wonder of God, but I hope it helps all of us remember throughout the year.
May God bless you all and may you have a very Merry CHRISTmas!
I have tried many times to make it a habit (the latest being blogging), but it never seems to work out. So, I hope that if anyone reads these, they will understand why there aren't many posts.
Anywho...now that my rambling is over...I just want to wish everyone out there a very, VERY Merry CHRISTmas! (Yes, I know I capitalized the C-H-R-I-S-T. It was on purpose.)
I have always loved Christmas. Not only do we get to exchange gifts to show our appreciation for each other, but we get to spend time with our loved ones, and we don't even have to make up a reason. It seems that in recent days, there has to be a "reason" to gather with family. Are we not allowed to ENJOY being with our parents? Siblings? Grandparents? Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but I really do enjoy it. I hope that I am not the only one.
One of the other reasons I LOVE Christmas is because of all the decorations. Ever since I was a kid, I have loved going out and seeing all of the lights and garland. Granted, I prefer a white Christmas, but living in middle America, you can't always get one. Still, the lights and decorations are just beautiful! I love decorating our house too, and I leave them all up until at least New Year's! :o)
Finally, I think the reason that I REALLY love Christmas is that it is such a great time to refocus our lives. We can easily get caught up into he hustle and bustle of the season, and sucked in to the trap of commercialism, but it really can be a great time to just reflect on what we are really here for...to love God. It amazes me every time I think about it...He sent His only son to save all of us. Think about it. I mean, REALLY think about it. Would you be willing to do that? I don't know that I would.
Christmas time makes it easier to see the wonder of God, but I hope it helps all of us remember throughout the year.
May God bless you all and may you have a very Merry CHRISTmas!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Bargin Hunters Paradise
It's been quite some time since my last post. Apparently, I am not very good at this. I am good at something else, though. FINDING BARGINS!!!
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a bargin hunting, "never pay retail," garage sale junkie. Well, I have found another great way to do all of this, and not spend a dime! If you are the same way, check out www.freecycle.org. This is by far the greatest web site I have been to in a long time.
All you have to do is visit the site, choose your region, and go from there. You get hooked up with people in your area, and can receive daily messages about what is available. So far, I have been able to find an electric range, dryer, radio flyer wagon, stroller, and even an older computer for my nephew to play on. And what did it cost? Gas money. That's it. All you have to do is make arrangements to pick up the items you get dibs on.
So, if you are a big bargin hunter that is looking for something specific, a garage sale junkie that just likes looking around, or someone needing to get rid of a few things yourself, this is a great site to check out.
Enjoy!
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a bargin hunting, "never pay retail," garage sale junkie. Well, I have found another great way to do all of this, and not spend a dime! If you are the same way, check out www.freecycle.org. This is by far the greatest web site I have been to in a long time.
All you have to do is visit the site, choose your region, and go from there. You get hooked up with people in your area, and can receive daily messages about what is available. So far, I have been able to find an electric range, dryer, radio flyer wagon, stroller, and even an older computer for my nephew to play on. And what did it cost? Gas money. That's it. All you have to do is make arrangements to pick up the items you get dibs on.
So, if you are a big bargin hunter that is looking for something specific, a garage sale junkie that just likes looking around, or someone needing to get rid of a few things yourself, this is a great site to check out.
Enjoy!
Friday, August 04, 2006
Accomplishments
So I am sitting here at the computer and trying to think of some sort of interesting or inspiring story to tell the world. OK...that's not going to happen today! There hasn't been a lot happening lately, and the things that have happened aren't that interesting or inspiring. That's not to say that life has been boring, though. I have had plenty of things to keep me busy.
One thing that has happened was another birthday. We didn't do much, but it was a good day. I was able to spend it with family, and I got to pick where we were going to eat. Such simple pleasures! :o)
It's kind of funny when you think about it. When we were kids, it was always a big deal...a birthday meant a party, presents, and a ton of fun. As we get older, though, those ideas kind of fade, and reality sets in. We are another year older. What do we have to show for it?
This kind of thought was only strengthened recently when I was preparing for my 10 year high school reunion. They sent out a questionare about our lives, asking what kind of things we had accomplished since high school and what we are doing now. To be honest, at first I was kind of bummed. My life isn't one of a rock star, or a high powered executive. I am just a stay-at-home mom. But then, when I started writing down all of the things that I have been involved in, and realizing how important staying home with my son is, my attitude changed.
Even though I haven't "made it" by society's definition, my life is a pretty good success story. I am happily married, have a wonderful son, completed my college degree, am involved in my church, still love my family, and I am happy! Isn't that what life in America is supposed to be about? It's one of our unalienable rights..."the pursuit of happiness."
I guess what I am getting at is this...No matter what other may say about what I have or have not accomplished, it doesn't matter! I have accomplished happiness. That is the one thing that you can't buy with a six figure salary, or world wide fame. In fact, I think happiness can be hindered by those things.
So, if you are out there, especially you moms, wondering what you have really accomplished, STOP! You are accomplishing a GREAT thing by raising your children. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't accomplishing someting!
Well...look at that...maybe something inspiring did come out of my mind!
Live! Laugh! Love!
One thing that has happened was another birthday. We didn't do much, but it was a good day. I was able to spend it with family, and I got to pick where we were going to eat. Such simple pleasures! :o)
It's kind of funny when you think about it. When we were kids, it was always a big deal...a birthday meant a party, presents, and a ton of fun. As we get older, though, those ideas kind of fade, and reality sets in. We are another year older. What do we have to show for it?
This kind of thought was only strengthened recently when I was preparing for my 10 year high school reunion. They sent out a questionare about our lives, asking what kind of things we had accomplished since high school and what we are doing now. To be honest, at first I was kind of bummed. My life isn't one of a rock star, or a high powered executive. I am just a stay-at-home mom. But then, when I started writing down all of the things that I have been involved in, and realizing how important staying home with my son is, my attitude changed.
Even though I haven't "made it" by society's definition, my life is a pretty good success story. I am happily married, have a wonderful son, completed my college degree, am involved in my church, still love my family, and I am happy! Isn't that what life in America is supposed to be about? It's one of our unalienable rights..."the pursuit of happiness."
I guess what I am getting at is this...No matter what other may say about what I have or have not accomplished, it doesn't matter! I have accomplished happiness. That is the one thing that you can't buy with a six figure salary, or world wide fame. In fact, I think happiness can be hindered by those things.
So, if you are out there, especially you moms, wondering what you have really accomplished, STOP! You are accomplishing a GREAT thing by raising your children. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you aren't accomplishing someting!
Well...look at that...maybe something inspiring did come out of my mind!
Live! Laugh! Love!
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Time to Rant!
So...This is going to be a bit of a rant, so I am apologizing now.
What is the deal today? Do we as a society no longer respect any form of commitment? Now, I am not just talking about marriage and relationships; that is a whole other blog. I am simply talking about our commitments to others that we make every day.
It seems to me that people just don't care anymore. People say that they are going to be there...they commit to showing up, and then they don't. When you need them, they are no where to be found. Not so much as a phone call to let you know what is going on. Ugh! This is definitely one of the things that I most dislike about people.
I don't know about the rest of the world, but if I make a commitment to be somewhere, I am there. If something comes up that makes it impossible, you will receive a call from me and a real explination. Why is my behavior so rare? I am sure that there are other people out there whose parents taught the same thing.
If you make a commitment to someone...Keep it! Let's take a little pride in our ability to commit, and show a little respect for those around us.
That's my two cents. Spend it wisely.
What is the deal today? Do we as a society no longer respect any form of commitment? Now, I am not just talking about marriage and relationships; that is a whole other blog. I am simply talking about our commitments to others that we make every day.
It seems to me that people just don't care anymore. People say that they are going to be there...they commit to showing up, and then they don't. When you need them, they are no where to be found. Not so much as a phone call to let you know what is going on. Ugh! This is definitely one of the things that I most dislike about people.
I don't know about the rest of the world, but if I make a commitment to be somewhere, I am there. If something comes up that makes it impossible, you will receive a call from me and a real explination. Why is my behavior so rare? I am sure that there are other people out there whose parents taught the same thing.
If you make a commitment to someone...Keep it! Let's take a little pride in our ability to commit, and show a little respect for those around us.
That's my two cents. Spend it wisely.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Barren Lands
Just today, I was excited to speak with one of my friends from college. She and her husband are expecting their first child, a boy, due this July. Pregnancy and delivery are exciting time for most people, but I can only imagine what they are feeling.
You see, they tried for 4 years to conceive this child. They went through failed fertility treatments, miscarriages, and an amazing amount of doubt to get where they are right now. This time wasn't without it's frightening twist either. There were roller coasters of blood pressures, placenta previa, and sickness. I am happy to say, though, that things are looking great now. They are planning and hoping for a perfect delivery.
My heart goes out to the hundreds of women who fully relate to their story. I have been blessed with a beautiful son, and no matter what difficulties we face in conceiving again will put me in their shoes. I was the lucky one. I have a son.
There are so many women out there who want a child so badly that they would do just about anything to become a mother. Oh how I wish I could help them. I am not ready to be a surrogate mother or anything like that, but I see the way they look at children. I see the hurt and longing in their eyes, and just wish I had the perfect answer for their individual situations. I wish there was some magic wand that I could wave over them and fix their problems.
I take comfort in the only thing I can...God. I know that God holds the answers to our every question, and every desire. I take comfort in the story of Hannah. For years, Hannah prayed for a child, and finally, God granted it to her.
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." And he worshiped the Lord there." 1 Samuel 27-28
Now let me just say this, I know that this will not solve all of the hurt women face when dealing with infertility. Please don't think that I am trying to patronize or be condescending. I am only offering encouragement. I pray that you will have the strength and determination of Hannah. Be faithful in prayer, diligent in the ways of righteousness, and patient, even when you don't think you can take anymore.
Pray for each other. Hold each other up. Lean on God...He will never leave you.
You see, they tried for 4 years to conceive this child. They went through failed fertility treatments, miscarriages, and an amazing amount of doubt to get where they are right now. This time wasn't without it's frightening twist either. There were roller coasters of blood pressures, placenta previa, and sickness. I am happy to say, though, that things are looking great now. They are planning and hoping for a perfect delivery.
My heart goes out to the hundreds of women who fully relate to their story. I have been blessed with a beautiful son, and no matter what difficulties we face in conceiving again will put me in their shoes. I was the lucky one. I have a son.
There are so many women out there who want a child so badly that they would do just about anything to become a mother. Oh how I wish I could help them. I am not ready to be a surrogate mother or anything like that, but I see the way they look at children. I see the hurt and longing in their eyes, and just wish I had the perfect answer for their individual situations. I wish there was some magic wand that I could wave over them and fix their problems.
I take comfort in the only thing I can...God. I know that God holds the answers to our every question, and every desire. I take comfort in the story of Hannah. For years, Hannah prayed for a child, and finally, God granted it to her.
"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." And he worshiped the Lord there." 1 Samuel 27-28
Now let me just say this, I know that this will not solve all of the hurt women face when dealing with infertility. Please don't think that I am trying to patronize or be condescending. I am only offering encouragement. I pray that you will have the strength and determination of Hannah. Be faithful in prayer, diligent in the ways of righteousness, and patient, even when you don't think you can take anymore.
Pray for each other. Hold each other up. Lean on God...He will never leave you.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Within Danger's Reach
You cannot live in America and not know that we have service men and women that are still in harms way at this very moment. I hope that we can all reach a common ground and support them and their families.
I am not saying that I am anti war or in support of the war. All I am saying is that I think we need to stand behind our service men and women...Support them and their families in this time of stress, worry, and grief.
Although I have had family members in all four branches of the military (three grandfathers Air Force, Marines, and Army respectively, and an uncle in the Navy), I can't fully understand what those closest to the soldiers are going through. I can only imagine. They were in active duty long before I knew what the purpose of military was, and it was mostly peace time. It has, however hit close to home. My own cousin has spent time in Iraq, and thankfully, he made it home without being injured. Just last week, a friend of ours was deployed, and is planning on being gone on an 18 month mission. His wife is left home...alone. They have no children yet, and have just bought a house. Speaking with her today, she expressed that it had been a rough few days, and she has many more ahead of her.
So here is what I am proposing. Let's put all of the politics behind. We should be joining together as one country. Whether we like it or not, we have thousands of our own over seas, working hard to make this world a safer place. They joined their particular branches of the military for their own reasons, and they all knew that there was a possibility of heading to war within their lifetime. Now it is up to us to show them that we haven't forgotten about them.
No matter where you stand in the debate of war and foreign policy, it is time to lay it aside. Our men and women are in harms way. Fighting over decisions made by the government, good or bad, isn't changing a thing. Let our men and women know that we are thinking of them. Tell them that we are proud of them. And when they come home, shake their hand, hug them, pat them on the back. They deserve all the support and praise possible. They have put themselves in harms way so that we can continue to live with the luxuries we have today. Don't take them for granted!
Pray for peace! Pray for our soldiers! Pray for our country!
I am not saying that I am anti war or in support of the war. All I am saying is that I think we need to stand behind our service men and women...Support them and their families in this time of stress, worry, and grief.
Although I have had family members in all four branches of the military (three grandfathers Air Force, Marines, and Army respectively, and an uncle in the Navy), I can't fully understand what those closest to the soldiers are going through. I can only imagine. They were in active duty long before I knew what the purpose of military was, and it was mostly peace time. It has, however hit close to home. My own cousin has spent time in Iraq, and thankfully, he made it home without being injured. Just last week, a friend of ours was deployed, and is planning on being gone on an 18 month mission. His wife is left home...alone. They have no children yet, and have just bought a house. Speaking with her today, she expressed that it had been a rough few days, and she has many more ahead of her.
So here is what I am proposing. Let's put all of the politics behind. We should be joining together as one country. Whether we like it or not, we have thousands of our own over seas, working hard to make this world a safer place. They joined their particular branches of the military for their own reasons, and they all knew that there was a possibility of heading to war within their lifetime. Now it is up to us to show them that we haven't forgotten about them.
No matter where you stand in the debate of war and foreign policy, it is time to lay it aside. Our men and women are in harms way. Fighting over decisions made by the government, good or bad, isn't changing a thing. Let our men and women know that we are thinking of them. Tell them that we are proud of them. And when they come home, shake their hand, hug them, pat them on the back. They deserve all the support and praise possible. They have put themselves in harms way so that we can continue to live with the luxuries we have today. Don't take them for granted!
Pray for peace! Pray for our soldiers! Pray for our country!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Home Improvements
If you own a home, you know where I am coming from...
The process of updating and improving a home is endless. We have been living in our house for about three years now. Our first project...removing the ugly wall paper in the living room and painting. Then, a new shower followed by a new front porch, new kitchen cabinets and paint, a dishwahser, and now...wood laminate flooring. Ugh! The results are great, and we are having fun doing all of it. I just wish someone would have warned us about the addiction to home repairs.
It's kind of like being addicted to plastic surgery. Once one thing is changed, you just have to move on to the next. Next on our list is once again repainting the living room. I am sure that will be followed by some other room of the house. SOMEBODY STOP US!!! We have started renovating and redecorating, and we can't stop! Is there some sort of 12-step program we can join?! :o)
The process of updating and improving a home is endless. We have been living in our house for about three years now. Our first project...removing the ugly wall paper in the living room and painting. Then, a new shower followed by a new front porch, new kitchen cabinets and paint, a dishwahser, and now...wood laminate flooring. Ugh! The results are great, and we are having fun doing all of it. I just wish someone would have warned us about the addiction to home repairs.
It's kind of like being addicted to plastic surgery. Once one thing is changed, you just have to move on to the next. Next on our list is once again repainting the living room. I am sure that will be followed by some other room of the house. SOMEBODY STOP US!!! We have started renovating and redecorating, and we can't stop! Is there some sort of 12-step program we can join?! :o)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Life's Roller Coaster Ride
An emotional roller coaster. Traveling at insane speeds, so high you can see the whole world one moment, only to be wisked down the slope and sent into the row of loops. What a whirl wind ride! That is what I have been dealing with recently, and I know there are countless others who can relate. About a month and a half ago, my Grandfather was killed in a car crash, and since then, it seems that my roller coaster is stuck in the "loops" of life.
My husband, son, mother and I all went to visit him just five days before the crash. We were able to spend 3 days with him and his wife, my step-grandmother. It went well...we were all glad to have time to spend together even though there wasn't a lot to do. Five days later when I was told about the crash...I thought it was like some kind of sick joke.
He had been returning home from picking up his wife at the hospital. They needed to make a phone call, so he pulled over, turned on is flashers, and began to make the call. That is when it happened. A semi driver left the road and plowed in to the back of their car, killing Grandpa instantly and sending his wife back to the hospital by life flight helicopter. The driver of the semi...not a scratch.
We were present for the funeral, and it was all I could do to look at him laying there in the casket. I think I was still trying to convice myself that he would sit up and say, "Ha! Just kidding!" We stayed at his house, and I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking of him...almost seeing him. I was just waiting for him to come around the corner and give me a big hug, and kiss me with that scruffy beard of his. There was no breakfast waiting this time. No jokes about me needing to hurry up and have another baby. It was just quiet.
You would think it would get better after the funeral, but it hasn't yet. I still have a hard time listening to the Brad Paisly/Dolly Parton son, "When I Get Where I'm Going." I have yet to make it all the way through the song without crying. And...just when things are starting to look better, we have to be reminded of it all over again. The preliminary hearing against the driver of the semi is coming soon. We will have to sit there and look at this man...the man who took my Grandpa from me.
I know I will have to forgive him eventually, but I haven't been able to yet. I know God is going to have to help me on that one. I am still traveling through the loops of the roller coaster, just waiting for the next high peak, and yet dreading it at the same time. You see, I know what comes after the high peak, and I don't want to think about going there just yet.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Reading Rainbow???
Okay, so once upon a time, I actually belonged to a book club. I know that some of you may find that hard to believe, but it is true. Well, unfortunately, that fell by the wayside, but I still love to read.
I really like Francine Rivers. In fact, in my opinion, The Atonement Child, should be required reading for every freshman girl as they enter college. I have read it about a hundred times. Okay, so not a hundred...but close. Most recently, I finished The Last Sin Eater, and The Scarlet Thread. Both books lived up to my first impression of Rivers talent. So, just in case you need a good book to read, check them out.
I also have to suggest that you go out and hunt down The Yada Yada Prayer Group series by Neta Jackson. I loved them all...and can't wait for the 5th book to come out this summer.
I try to have a book to read all the time, and have just started Sisterchicks by Robin Jones Gunn and have Leota's Garden by Francine Rivers on standby. I will let you all know what I think once I finish them.
If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to share them. Keep in mind, though, I like Romance and Comedy most of the time, but I don't like smut. Haha!!! It has to be tasteful. I also like suspense on some occasions.
Keep reading everyone. It helps to keep the mind sharp! And if you have a family history of dementia and alzhiemer's disease like me, you'll try anything to hold out a little longer!
Happy Reading!!!
I really like Francine Rivers. In fact, in my opinion, The Atonement Child, should be required reading for every freshman girl as they enter college. I have read it about a hundred times. Okay, so not a hundred...but close. Most recently, I finished The Last Sin Eater, and The Scarlet Thread. Both books lived up to my first impression of Rivers talent. So, just in case you need a good book to read, check them out.
I also have to suggest that you go out and hunt down The Yada Yada Prayer Group series by Neta Jackson. I loved them all...and can't wait for the 5th book to come out this summer.
I try to have a book to read all the time, and have just started Sisterchicks by Robin Jones Gunn and have Leota's Garden by Francine Rivers on standby. I will let you all know what I think once I finish them.
If anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to share them. Keep in mind, though, I like Romance and Comedy most of the time, but I don't like smut. Haha!!! It has to be tasteful. I also like suspense on some occasions.
Keep reading everyone. It helps to keep the mind sharp! And if you have a family history of dementia and alzhiemer's disease like me, you'll try anything to hold out a little longer!
Happy Reading!!!
Friday, March 31, 2006
Mommy Wars
Okay, here's the deal. I woke up this morning and flipped on the tube as usual. I watch Good Morning America just about every day. This morning, Diane Sawyer had another segment on what they have titled "Mommy Wars." Have any of you seen these segments?
The whole premis of the segmets is the question of whether it is better to work or stay home once you have children. They have shown women arguing over which is better for the kids, but I just don't think that they are looking at it truthfully.
Is it better to stay home and raise your child, or should you return to work and support your child? This is a question that cannot be answered across the board. I think it is different for each case. I know that there are studies that will prove, statisticly, that children fare better when a parent is in the home with them. I agree with the study, but I also think we, as a society, aren't looking at the whole picture.
Let's break it down. Man meets woman. They fall in love. Couple gets married. Woman may work for a while. Then baby. Woman stays home and becomes a full time caregiver and house wife. It is a TV Land norm. In the 1950's it was not uncommon for the wife to stay home and everything worked out just fine. Life was fairly simple, and there was usually enough money to go around. But let's face it. It's just not like that anymore.
Today, we live in a world of big houses, new cars, rising gas prices, and electronics out the wazoo. Even some of the most successful people in business are struggling to make ends meet with their lifestyle choices. We are no longer in the era of living a simple life. The focus has shifted to aquiring posessions, being "successful", and not keeping up with the Jones', but surpassing them. If that is the norm now, there is no way we can remain the classic picture of a family. Both moms and dads have to work.
Now, don't think of this as passing judgement. I have been in both rolls. My husband and I both had jobs when we got married. I continued to work, enjoying the fact that two paychecks helped keep us financially comfortable. Then, I had my son. We knew that I would return to work, but we were thinking that it would be in a part time position. Then the floor fell out from under us. My husband's company laid off about half or more of their workers due to a merger/buy out when my son was just a few weeks old. Ugh! We had just bought a house and had a baby...there was only one choice. I would continue working...and in a full time position.
My husband did get another job, but I continued working for the first two years of our son's life. I was lucky, though. My parents live in the same town as us, and they were the caregiver while I was at work. It was nice knowing that I had someone that I could trust taking care of my son, but I still felt some guilt that I wasn't there all day, taking care of him. Then, when things were settling down, I was able to quit my job and begin staying home. I have been for the past year, and I love it. True, there are some days that I miss being at work, but I turely cherish the time I have with my son.
Does it make me better than others becuse I can stay home? NO WAY! I know how it is. There are some times that it is just not possible to be the stay-at-home parent, and there is nothing wrong with that. We have to do what is best for ourselves and our children. That usually requires sacrifice, but it is no one's place to judge. Make the decision that is right for your family, and forget the criticism. And for those criticizing, take a lesson from the "classic 1950's family." If you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all.
The whole premis of the segmets is the question of whether it is better to work or stay home once you have children. They have shown women arguing over which is better for the kids, but I just don't think that they are looking at it truthfully.
Is it better to stay home and raise your child, or should you return to work and support your child? This is a question that cannot be answered across the board. I think it is different for each case. I know that there are studies that will prove, statisticly, that children fare better when a parent is in the home with them. I agree with the study, but I also think we, as a society, aren't looking at the whole picture.
Let's break it down. Man meets woman. They fall in love. Couple gets married. Woman may work for a while. Then baby. Woman stays home and becomes a full time caregiver and house wife. It is a TV Land norm. In the 1950's it was not uncommon for the wife to stay home and everything worked out just fine. Life was fairly simple, and there was usually enough money to go around. But let's face it. It's just not like that anymore.
Today, we live in a world of big houses, new cars, rising gas prices, and electronics out the wazoo. Even some of the most successful people in business are struggling to make ends meet with their lifestyle choices. We are no longer in the era of living a simple life. The focus has shifted to aquiring posessions, being "successful", and not keeping up with the Jones', but surpassing them. If that is the norm now, there is no way we can remain the classic picture of a family. Both moms and dads have to work.
Now, don't think of this as passing judgement. I have been in both rolls. My husband and I both had jobs when we got married. I continued to work, enjoying the fact that two paychecks helped keep us financially comfortable. Then, I had my son. We knew that I would return to work, but we were thinking that it would be in a part time position. Then the floor fell out from under us. My husband's company laid off about half or more of their workers due to a merger/buy out when my son was just a few weeks old. Ugh! We had just bought a house and had a baby...there was only one choice. I would continue working...and in a full time position.
My husband did get another job, but I continued working for the first two years of our son's life. I was lucky, though. My parents live in the same town as us, and they were the caregiver while I was at work. It was nice knowing that I had someone that I could trust taking care of my son, but I still felt some guilt that I wasn't there all day, taking care of him. Then, when things were settling down, I was able to quit my job and begin staying home. I have been for the past year, and I love it. True, there are some days that I miss being at work, but I turely cherish the time I have with my son.
Does it make me better than others becuse I can stay home? NO WAY! I know how it is. There are some times that it is just not possible to be the stay-at-home parent, and there is nothing wrong with that. We have to do what is best for ourselves and our children. That usually requires sacrifice, but it is no one's place to judge. Make the decision that is right for your family, and forget the criticism. And for those criticizing, take a lesson from the "classic 1950's family." If you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
I'm Waving the White Flag
Okay...I have finally given in. I wasn't going to start this whole blogging thing, but I guess it is inevitable. So, here I am...not quite sure what to share with everyone.
I live a pretty no frills life. Family is importnat to me, especially my beautiful son. I am a stay-at-home mom and, much to my family's surprise, I love it. Believe me...there are days that I wish I was back at work. Most of the time, though...I am SOOOOOO glad that I don't have to deal with that. It took me a while to convince myself that I should stay home. I worked for the first two years of my son's life, and thought it was pretty great. Now that I am staying home, though...Wow! It is just such a blessing. The only opinions I have on the subject, though, is this. Do what you think you need to do! I had a lot of women look at me like I was crazy for working, but I think we did just fine. My son is developing normally, and I cherished every seconds that I had to spend with him. Now that I am home...I still cherish every second...it's just that now, I have to look back at it later. In the moment, he is driving me nuts! Haha!!!
I live a pretty no frills life. Family is importnat to me, especially my beautiful son. I am a stay-at-home mom and, much to my family's surprise, I love it. Believe me...there are days that I wish I was back at work. Most of the time, though...I am SOOOOOO glad that I don't have to deal with that. It took me a while to convince myself that I should stay home. I worked for the first two years of my son's life, and thought it was pretty great. Now that I am staying home, though...Wow! It is just such a blessing. The only opinions I have on the subject, though, is this. Do what you think you need to do! I had a lot of women look at me like I was crazy for working, but I think we did just fine. My son is developing normally, and I cherished every seconds that I had to spend with him. Now that I am home...I still cherish every second...it's just that now, I have to look back at it later. In the moment, he is driving me nuts! Haha!!!
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