(It will never cease to amaze me. When you take one thing out of your life, there is always something else there to take it's place. Anyway...I decided that I should take a little time and update this blog.)
Spring is here...at least according to the calendar. Boy has it been and interesting start to spring. First it was wonderful above average temperatures, then cold windy days, mixed in with a random hail storm just for fun. All I know is that I am ready for some steady warm (not hot) weather with sunshine. And apparently, I need it.
I have been seeing a rhumatologist for the past few years, but recently had to change doctors. It seems that my doc decided it was time to retire. How dare she! Ha ha! Anyway, I went in to meet the new doc who wanted to run all new tests just to make sure where I stand. Well, I have a vitamin D deficiency. I guess the average adult should have a level around 32...mine is at 19. So, I need some sun!!!!! And, for the time being, a prescription. Yay. (Can you sense my excitement?)
Otherwise, things have been about the same as my usual. We are still waiting on a miracle, and praying that it will happen. We have decided that the fertility treatments are just too expensive for us at this time, so we have stopped. No more expensive pills and procedures for us. Instead we are focusing on using our finances responsibly, and planning for our future. We hope still hold out hope that it will include another child, but if not, so be it. We still have responsibilities and we have been blessed with a wonderful son. We are doing our very best to remind ourselves of that daily.
That's not to say that I don't still have the HUGE desire for another baby. It's still there, and I have my moments of heart-wrenching and tears. I still have to fight the urge to scream when I find out that yet another friend is expecting. I still have pity-parties that I have to deal with. But I am making a conscious effort to be more positive, and focus on the blessings that I have in my life.
I was reading a blog of a friend, and saw something that really made me think. One of her friends posted this:
"Most of the stories about birth in the scriptures revolve around women's inability to have children. That the trial of infertility is one that God has given to some of his strongest and most select daughters. Women like Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, the mother of Samson, Hannah, and Elisabeth all struggled with extended periods of 'bareness', the ancient term for infertility."I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that. I mean, it's encouraging to think that so many strong women of faith have been through this before me. But, it's also very daunting to think that I could be grouped with these women. Am I really that strong? Is my faith really as sound as theirs? I don't know. But I love to think that I am in the company of many strong women with unwavering faith who can be amazing examples of what God can do. I pray that I can live up to this legacy, and maybe, just maybe, be an encouragement to others.
