Journey update

Two weeks down. Eight to go.

PS-MAPP classes are going well so far, but I have to admit, I was not prepared for the paperwork.

This week, we had to turn in our family profile. This consisted of several packets, filled with questions. Some easy to answer. Some not so easy. Some very repetitive. Still, we made our way through it, and even included a short letter and picture from Kristopher.

This week's homework, however, I am not looking forward to. This is the first time that we have to answer the questions about infertility and how it has shaped our decision to foster/adopt.

Cue tears now.

I seriously about started crying right there in class when we were talking about the assignment. I think it was the first time that I realized that Darrin and I may be the only couple in our group who are dealing with infertility. The others are a little older than us with kids of their own. They have decided to add to their family, but decided that they are "too old to have another baby." Well...I'm not too old.

As silly as it may sound, I have been avoiding our notebook all week. I just don't want to look at those questions. I don't want to relive all of the pain. I don't want to cry again.

Still, I know that I have to push through and finish the paperwork. It is all part of learning, and searching our hearts to see if this is REALLY the route we are meant to take.

So, if you will, please pray for Darrin and I. This week's homework is the most difficult to date, but I have a feeling there is harder still to come.