Decisions, decisions...

Every day.

More decisions to be made.

Some are just little things that need to be decided. You know, the kind of things that don't make a whole lot of difference one way or the other. What should I wear today? Where should I have lunch? What should I watch on TV? But, then there are the other decisions that have to be made. The ones that could potentially impact much more than our small little personal bubble. Things that could affect those around us in ways more profound that we could ever imagine.

I was reminded of this again this weekend.

It seems that my ramblings in this blog has touched more people than I ever realized. And, I was so blessed to have someone tell me what my writings did for them. Wow! That's all I can really say.

When I started writing this blog, I didn't even think about the possibility that it would touch or affect anyone but myself. I just thought that it would be a good way for me to release. You know, let go of all of the crazy thoughts and emotions running through me on a given day. Just write them down, get them out, and then move on. But, thanks to a few friends (and a couple of strangers) I am beginning to realize that it's not just about me.

While I know that I have lived a blessed life thus far, there have been circumstances that I would have rather not happened. The most obvious (and most mentioned in my blog) is our struggle with infertility. I don't understand what is happening, or why it is happening, but I have been very open about all of the struggles and emotion that has come with it. And now, I have to decide again...do I share or not?

There is no new news to be shared at this point, but I have been asked to give my testimony about the struggles we have faced, and how we have made it this far through. It seems like a simple decision, right? I have already spilled my guts on here. Surely it's not that hard to do it again. Well, that's not entirely true.

You see, as much as I love talking with people, I do not like anything that remotely resembles public speaking. Ugh! I can still remember barely making it through Public Address in college. It was my least liked class (even though I loved the prof) even behind accounting. ACCOUNTING!!! See what I mean? Standing in front of people and talking...it's just so much easier for me in smaller settings. But, sometimes, God likes us to move out of what is comfortable and move in to a "riskier" arena allowing Him to do HIS work.

It's so hard, though!

I trust that He is in control and that He has a plan for it all, but the human side of me keeps thinking of how uncomfortable it is going to be. I mean, I might stumble over my words. I might ramble on. I might cry in front of people (something I detest)!

So...here I am. Praying about what I should do, and asking that you all pray for and with me. It seems like such a simple little thing, but it's a big deal to me. And, most importantly, I want to make sure that I don't chicken out of something that God wants to use.