The clouds are creeping in...

For those of you who have been keeping up with us...this was not the month.

We have been trying for a baby for four years now. For the past nine months or so, we have been using a specialist in our efforts. The goal is to get the hormones and timing just right. We thought we were lucky when it worked right from the start, but it ended in miscarriage. Since then, there hasn't been any such luck.

I'm no expert in all of this, but I know that things just weren't right this month. I was hoping that this was going to be a good thing. However, we have found that the changes were not what we were hoping for.

So...what's next? That is for the doctor to help us decide on. After our last conversation, it looks like we will move on the a procedure called and HSG. Apparently, research has shown that this can increase chances of pregnancy by up to 20-30%. It sounds good to me, but I still have a little reservation. It's $1100. And of that, insurance will most likely cover NOTHING.

I know that we haven't even scratched the surface in the world of infertility treatments. There are so many options ranging from different drugs, IUI, etc. There are still several different avenues that we could explore, each with their own pros and cons. The hardest part is not even the money. It's the decisions.

Oh how I wish I had the answers I have been looking for.

Today has been a bit of a tough day. I try to continually focus on all of the wonderful blessings in my life in effort to push back the gloomy clouds that threaten my spirit. I don't want to be the depressed, negative-dwelling person that I could so easily become.

If you would, please keep me in your prayers. And not just me. My husband, bless his amazing heart, has been my rock throughout this whole process. I know that he is hurting too, but he worries too much about me to show it. He is one of the most wonderful blessings in my life, and I thank God for sending him into my life. He needs your prayers too.

We'll keep praying. And I appreciate the prayers of others more that you will ever know.