Wow! I wasn't expecting that. (But, then again, a lot of things have been happening that I never expected.) I just received a call today from my pastor. He was just calling to let me know that he's been thinking of us and praying for us this week, and asked if we needed anything. Our pastor is a wonderful man, and I really do appreciate his call, but as soon as I hung up...I began to cry.
My husband and I have been healing slowly after the miscarriage of our tiny little baby. I thought I was doing pretty well. So well, in fact, that I was proud to say I have had a few tear free days. I couldn't help but think, "I'm beginning to heal. It's doesn't hurt quite as bad." Until today.
It's funny how tears can sneak up on you like that. Just when you think that you have a handle on things...BAM! The dam breaks, and the tears start to roll again. I'll never understand what sparks them, either. I just have to credit it to the fact that I am still in process of healing. Though, I have to admit, I wish there was a magic number. A date, or a time frame. Something to let me know that the end is near, and the tears will stop surprising me.
I guess if I out a positive spin on the whole situation I can say one thing. At least I made it through the phone call before the water works began. A week ago, I couldn't say that. Even a few days ago, that would be a stretch.
Thank God for friends and family who are willing to put up with my spontaneous combustion of tears!
1 comment:
So....I'm a bit behind. WAY behind, it looks like.
I think you will know when I say, I understand. It sucks. Nothing more to it than that...IT SUCKS! It's a horrible thing - mostly because it's so confusing....you feel love and have no object with which to direct it.
There are a lot of things that can be done for various parts of your healing, but my biggest advice to you is to get hormonal medication. I didn't and it took me a full year before my body caught up to it's normal rhythms and flows. My face was perpetually broken out for one year - horribly! I was all over the board emotionally. This is a big shock to your system, Kim. Help it out hormonally!
Grant it, you're younger than me :P - but my advice will always be the same for any women that has gone through a miscarriage: get hormonal help!
Big hug coming to you from Columbia. Grieve when you need to grieve. Cry when you need to cry. Hide when you need to hide. It is the ONLY way to heal. God is directing your body to do what it needs to do. And crying is a part of that direction. Follow His lead and let the tears flow when they come....
Much love -
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